The Falcon's Fading Song
by DawnStars1247
Summary: Falconsong is the deputy of ShadowClan. He's silver tongued, skillful and oh-so-handsome. He has the whole clan wrapped around his paw, all except for Torrentrunner, the love of his life. Falconstar is the leader of ShadowClan. He's a loving father and affectionate mate to a she cat who doesn't return his advances and makes less than ethical decisions leading to his own downfall.


**Welcome to this installment about a more minor character in the** _ **Dawnstar's Legacy**_ **and** _ **No Wings to Fly**_ **storylines! Those of you who have been following the two stories will remember a cat named Falconstar and how we only hear about him from a secondary source: his love interest and deputy Torrentrunner (who is owned by Nightmask, one of my readers). I wanted Falconstar to be a little more than just a "villain" character. We sort of realize this whenever Torrentrunner talks about him, but as far as Dawnflight has seen him, he's this old, tyrannical and mentally ill guy who really shouldn't be in a positon of power. But he has a story before his downfall and I wanted to share it! Don't expect a fully-fledged series for him like Blackwing gets. But it's safe to assume that he'll have more than one blurb about him. This collection in particular is going to be several shorter pieces and blurbs put together to illustrate different periods of Falconstar's life. I wanted each part to focus on one aspect of his personality or experiences instead of making one larger story.**

 **Also, one last thing: Falconstar is far from a perfect guy. He has several qualities and actions that I do not approve of or condone. There's also a few more "mature" ideas presented in here and I'll talk a bit more of that in the debrief when this collection is finished.**

 **Mapleleaf is owned by Comma to the Top (another reader).**

 **Please note: there are time skips between parts.**

 **1 separating line goes here 1**

"I say these words before the spirits of StarClan so that they may hear and approve my choice," the regal, red dapple pelted she cat at the center of the ShadowClan camp paused and quickly inhaled, "Falconsong will be the deputy of ShadowClan!"

The red spotted cat's yowl echoed off the pine trees and into the open ears of her clan. Bright eyes hung on to her every word, glowing in the orange evening sun. The warriors of StarClan had just stared to emerge from under their daylight blanket and Burningstar had hoped they had heard her choice loud and clear. She blinked her pale, golden eyes slowly as her clan began to chant joyously around her.

"Falconsong! Falconsong! Falconsong!"

Burningstar opened her eyes to see the warriors eagerly calling out to the cat she chose as deputy. The tan tabby tom had confidently stepped towards the center of the clearing and took his position next to her. Burningstar turned her gaze towards the tom's leafy green eyes, which sparkled proudly. He was grinning widely, clearly pleased with his new promotion and the attention his clan was pouring out onto him. Burningstar couldn't help but smirk with him, but then erased it from her lips when she realized just how contagious Falconsong's smile was. It was almost like the white bellied tom had _entranced_ her and urged her to approve of him. But Burningstar shook the thought from her head as she let her new deputy bask in the warm approval of ShadowClan.

 _It's good for a deputy or leader to have the attention and trust of their clan. At least everyone will have no problems taking orders from him._

Burningstar turned her golden eyes towards the crowd, surveying all the cats who pledged their life to ShadowClan. Every single cat, from the smallest kit to the oldest elder looked bright eyed joyful, almost strangely so, the red dappled she cat decided to herself. In silent horror, Burningstar realized that they were just as entranced by Falconsong as she was a few heartbeats ago! Frantically, the ShadowClan leader searched for eyes that _weren't_ under the giddy influence of the striped tom who was now her deputy and second in command. She took a quiet, undetectable sigh of relief when she met the sober, bright amber gaze of a warrior in the crowd that had not approached Falconsong to congratulate him. The amber eyes belonged to Torrentrunner, a younger she cat who had become a warrior several moons back. Thought she was far from being senior warrior, Burningstar had always appreciated the black tabby's rational outlook. Burningstar had often found herself consulting with Torrentrunner on several occasions.

Torrentrunner stared back into the pale golden eyes of Burningstar. For just a flash of a second, Burningstar swore she had seen a glimpse of disappointment in the black and white tabby she cat's eyes. But just as the ShadowClan leader took notice, it was gone. Torrentrunner had returned her face to her usual cold complexion and turned to pad away to the warriors' den away from all the commotion in the middle of camp. Burningstar pushed past the pelts of her clanmates and away from the large crowd that materialized around Falconsong, who was loudly calling out the evening and midnight patrols. Cat eagerly meowed back at him and several warriors willingly _volunteered_ for his patrols. Burningstar quickly slipped into her den and shoved her face into her nest, taking deep breaths in and out. She thought of her new deputy and how he fit into his new role well. _Too well._

 _Am I going crazy? Am I just being paranoid? Falconsong is a great cat for the job, surely. He's confident, strong, skillful,_ handsome…

The red spotted she cat made herself gag and cough at the thought of her deputy being attractive. Burningstar sighed and pushed her nose into her nest, inhaling the faint scent of the previous leader.

 _No no no! I'm loyal to Brackenstar! Falconsong is just conventionally attractive._

Burningstar's heart beat a faster and her pelt prickled at the thought of her deceased mate. Though her heart sank and her fluffy ears dropped as she remembered he hunted with StarClan and that he wouldn't be there to curl around her at night and whisper her to sleep like he used to moons prior. Burningstar sniffled back a tear before standing back up to her paws. She had to be strong. For ShadowClan. She turned around and ducked her head under the den's entrance with a new resolve, blinking away the low hanging ivy from her face. The red furred leader stepped back out into the orange, evening light that lined ShadowClan's camp. The crowd that was previously present had died down as cats either left for patrol or retreated to their nests. Falconsong stood isolated in the center camp, but not for long. The tan tabby tom strode to the warriors' den, holding a fat robin in his jaws. Burningstar peered closer and noticed that he had placed the prey at Torrentrunner's paws. Falconsong was smiling brightly at the darker she cat, who just stared back at him with a flat expression. Falconsong either didn't notice her uninterested face or chose to ignore it. Despite Torrentrunner's obvious distaste for Falconsong's advances, the tom continued to talk to her. Burningstar heard the familiar words of "be mine" and "I want you to be mate" and "we could be together" from Falconsong's jaws. The leader's whiskers twitched at Torrentrunner's equally familiar responses of "no" and "I only love you as a friend" and "please stop." Burningstar couldn't help but chuckle to herself.

 _I'm glad Brackenstar and I never made a spectacle of ourselves when we were courting._

The red speckled warrior turned stepped from the clearing's center and over towards the warriors' den. Burningstar found Torrentrunner lying in her mossy nest beside the robin Falconsong had left for her. The prey had gone untouched. Burningstar padded lightly towards the black stripped she cat.

"It's rude to let prey go cold like that, you know." Burningstar mewed. Torrentrunner turned her head up towards her leader and flicked her white tipped ears.

"If I eat it, Falconsong will think that I'm accepting him. Which I won't. I haven't yet and I never will. Anyway, I'm not hungry. I already had my share. Can you take this to the queens? I think Flowertail hasn't eaten yet." Torrentrunner meowed back. Burningstar just nodded and picked up the robin by the wings as Torrentrunner twisted her body into a sleeping position. As she stepped out of the warriors' den and approached the nursery, a thought dawned on Burningstar and her golden gaze widened. Falconsong had been pursuing Torrentrunner for moons. The tabby tom had been padding after the poor she cat since they were half way through their apprenticeships. The whole of ShadowClan thought his love stricken and _obsessive_ pining was _cute_. Burningstar mentally pawed herself on the face! A strange, hot anger coursed beneath her pelt, making the normally strong and composed warrior feel sick to her stomach. Despite the feeling, the red warrior dropped off the robin in the nursery, where it was quickly scooped up and devoured by the hungry and very pregnant Flowertail. Burningstar didn't stay long enough to hear the queen's thanks. Burningstar rushed out of the nursery and ran out of the camp into ShadowClan's territory. Night was beginning to fall and the StarClan warrior in Silverpelt were twinkling brightly. The dappled she cat ran out past the many pine trees and scattered brush of ShadowClan's lands until she panted for breath near the ThunderClan border. Burningstar retched up sour bile in the grass and coughed until there was nothing else to regurgitate. Burningstar bit her tongue, resisting the urge to yowl at the stars and demand that Brackenstar himself descend from the heavens to comfort her. Wide eyed, she opened her jaws to speak, though no one in particular could even hear her.

 _Falconsong is an obsessive, self-centered and silver tongued tom with the whole clan wrapped around his paw! If he won't give up on his foolish and pointless pursuit of Torrentrunner, he won't give up until the whole clan is groveling under him. StarClan! Brackenstar forgive me! I've chosen the wrong cat!_

 **1 separating line goes here 1**

Falconsong padded slowly, carefully placing his paws in front of him. The muscular, tan tabby dropped to a crouch and silently crept towards the rabbit that sat in a small patch of sunlight a few tail lengths ahead of him. He tasted the air, allowing the succulent, savory smell of the rabbit bathe his nose and mouth. Falconsong padded forward lightly, avoiding the stray pine needles and twigs strewn about the forest floor in ShadowClan's territory. The rabbit was close. The delicious smell of rabbit was overwhelming and the stripped warrior could almost feel the rabbit's fur and heartbeat. Unaware the imminent danger that was nearly on top of it, the rabbit placidly nibbled away at the grass; its back was turned away from Falconsong's hungry, green gaze.

 _Perfect._

Quick as a lightning bolt, Falconsong pounced on the rabbit, claws outstretched. The rabbit silently went limp beneath the warrior's claws as he cleanly swiped its throat. Falconsong beamed at his kill.

 _Another nearly perfect hunt._

Relishing the scent of the freshly killed prey, Falconsong eagerly bit into the rabbit, tearing off flesh and gulping it down quickly. A few minor wisps of guilt wormed its way into the tom's chest. He mentally shook himself free of their tendrils.

 _I_ am _feeding ShadowClan. I'm part of the clan. I'm the second most important member! I'm still follow the code. Warriors need to eat too, so we can protect our borders and teach our kits how to hunt and fight._

Shamelessly, Falconsong continued munching on the rabbit meat, but he left a majority of the flesh still clinging to the bones. The thought of kits made the tan tom's heart beat with pride. His daughters were three moons old now and Torrentrunner was their mother. After several more moons of pestering her, Torrentrunner had finally agreed to have his kits. Though, she would have none of the typical "mate" behavior of most warrior parents. They simply talked and patrolled like friends. Though Falconsong still took many romantic advances towards her, which she reluctantly accepted under the clan's judging gaze. Much to Falconsong's delight, they even shared a nest.

Falconsong remembered the day she finally agreed to be with him. Constant evenings of gifts and telling Torrentrunner that "she's perfect" and that "they were meant to be together" had finally paid off. Falconsong felt a small twinge of guilt for the defeated look on Torrentrunner's face when she finally relented. But he didn't care. Torrentrunner was finally his and that was all that mattered to the tan tabby. Plus, now that he had publicly announced to the clan that he and Torrentrunner were mates and they had kits together, she couldn't refuse him now. Torrentrunner would be his forever.

Brushing away the happy thoughts, Falconsong picked up the partially eaten rabbit and headed back to camp. He strode around pine trees and beneath bushes until he walked right through the camp's entrance. Many ShadowClan cats greeted him brightly. Some congratulated him on is kill and complimented his hunting skills. Though he made a humble display after such compliments, Falconsong secretly enjoyed the praise that was freely given to him. Despite having rabbit flesh around his lips and the smell lingering on his breath, no one questioned Falconsong's hedonistic eating habits. Most of ShadowClan, including Burningstar, ignored it.

 _They_ must _agree with me. The warriors of a clan are important and they should eat when they want! We need the energy to carry out all the patrols and other tasks._

Turning past the cats milling around in the camp, the tan and white cat walked over to the nursery. Falconsong ducked his head under the brambles and ivy that covered the den and blinked his eyes to adjust to the lower light. The queens and resident kits happily greeted him, to which Falconsong politely mewed a hello. Deeper in the nursery, lay his family. Torrentrunnner snored next to their kits. Three she kits slept quietly at the curve of her belly, each with a different fur pattern. Featherkit had a pale grey flecked pelt, Mosskit's fur had tortoiseshell dapples and Shadekit shared her mother's black tabby stripes. Falconsong couldn't help but admire Torrentrunner's athletic build and shiny, stripped pelt.

 _She'll always be the most beautiful cat to me. And our daughters are the most perfect kits in all of ShadowClan!_

Falconsong prodded the mother of his kit's flank gently. The black striped queen blinked her bright amber eyes awake with a yawn. With the softness of a butterfly's wing, Torrentrunner purred and licked her kits awake. The three she kits awoke quickly and eagerly bounced around their father, mewing for his attention and the fresh kill he had brought. Torrentrunner narrowed her eyes at the partially eaten rabbit, a bit insulted. The kits had no afterthoughts while digging into the rabbit. Their happy little mews sounded in Falconsong's ears.

"You couldn't have waited to eat with us?" Torrentrunner meowed. Falconsong didn't seem to notice the small snag his "mate" slung at him.

"I left plenty for them. If I didn't love our daughters as much as I do, I'd have brought back nothing for them. There's enough for you, too."

Torrentrunner just watched her daughters ravenously tear at the rabbit. She often mused to their father that they inherited his appetite. But the black and white queen didn't dare take her daughters' meal. Instead, Torrentrunner flicked her white tipped ears. As soon as Featherkit, Mosskit and Shadekit finished eating, they scampered off to play with the other kits in the nursery. The other kits tended to shower Falconsong's daughters with attention. Every kit wanted to play with the deputy's kits. Falconsong purred at the sight of his daughters growing into respected cats. He sat closer to Torrentrunner and placed his tail on her back. She flinched for a moment, but didn't shy away from his closeness. The queen moved some moss and feathers to the side and let him lie in her nest next to her her.

"They're strong and beautiful, just like you." Falconsong whispered in the queen's ears as he settled down next to Torrentrunner. He pressed his striped pelt to hers. Torrentrunner said nothing and didn't make any motions to lick him back when Falconsong licked her cheek.

"They'll grow into great warriors." Torrentrunner meowed. Falconsong could sense the pride in her voice. Surely, in time, she'd love him just as much as she loved their daughters. Falconsong nuzzled Torrentrunner's dark tabby and white neck. The queen sighed and lay next to her "mate."

 _One day, she'll be head over tail for me. I got this far with her. It just takes time and some persistence. I won't give up! She'll have to give her heart to me!_

 **1 separating line goes here 1**

Falconstar stood as still as a stone in the warm, greenleaf air. He stepped forward and paused as his left paw crunched on some dried up pine needles. He flicked his ears, searching for any sounds in ShadowClan territory. Normally, birds would squawk and squirrels would chatter at the sudden noise of an incoming predator. However, nothing but silence responded. He sighed, disappointed. The tan tabby breathed in the air, hoping to scent at least one prey animal hiding between the pines. Nothing. The only smell that invaded his nose was the smell of pines and the distant scent of the ThunderClan border. No prey existed for fox lengths. Determined to catch something, Falconstar stalked further and further away from ShadowClan's camp. The bright, greenleaf sun basked down between the pine needles, casting a dappled pattern onto the grass. The sunlight on the grass and bushes reminded Falconstar of his daughter Mosspaw's pelt. His heart twisted in his chest as he thought of his daughters, hungry and energy deprived in the apprentices' den at home. He thought of his "mate" and her anguished amber eyes as she watched her daughters starve. Falconstar shook his head.

 _There has to be something. ShadowClan is hungry! My daughters are hungry!_

In the previous moons, Falconstar allowed ShadowClan to eat and hunt prey freely. He told his clanmates that they deserved to be fed. He argued that they were still following the Warrior Code. After all, the Code says to fed one's clan. Weren't they _all_ part of ShadowClan? At first, there was backlash by several of the warriors and elders. If Falconstar himself could get away with eating and hunt whenever he wanted after all these moons, he may as well let his clan do the same. Those who opposed Falconstar's word were quieted by those who admired him the most, claiming that the leader's word is law. But compared to the bountiful times of his early leadership, ShadowClan territory had become more and more devoid of prey. The fresh kill pile in ShadowClan's camp dwindled as patrols brought back fewer and fewer pieces of prey. Falconstar had given up his habits of eating prey freely and instead gave all of his spare catches to his daughters and Torrentrunner. Warrior and apprentices frequently skipped meals in favor of feeding the queens, kits and elders first.

Falconstar padded closer to the ThunderClan border, eagerly letting the sun warm his striped pelt through the thinning trees. The short grass and shrubs transitioned into lush undergrowth and trees as his green gaze peered over into the other clan's lands. Falconstar closed his eyes and flicked his ears forward. From ThunderClan's side, he could hear the thrum of mouse feet, the calls of starlings and the chattering of squirrels. Prey was in ThunderClan territory. Stepping closer and closer to the ThunderClan scent markers, Falconstar padded to a halt. He lets his thinned legs lower into a crouch. He bundled strength into his haunches, preparing himself to spring into ThunderClan's prey rich lands and take it all for his daughters. The tan and white bellied tom nearly tripped over his paws, stopping himself from launching over the border and wantonly stealing prey.

 _No matter how hungry we are, we can't risk a fight with ThunderClan._

Feeling hopeless with a pit of dread growing in his chest, Falconstar got back up on his paws and turned to run back into ShadowClan territory. But a sudden bird call assaulted his ears and he instinctively ducked his head as a blackbird shot itself through the air from a tree in ThunderClan territory! The blackbird flapped its wings above Falconstar's head and landed silently in the grass a few fox lengths away from him _in ShadowClan lands._ Overjoyed, Falconstar dropped into a crouch. He carefully padded forward, stepping over the dried up pine needles and stray bracken pieces. The bird didn't seem to notice the tan tabby, and pecked away at some seeds between the blades of grass. Slowly, Falconstar crept closer to the blackbird. The thought of its delicious flesh between his jaws made his heart race, but the tom kept himself balanced on his paws. Then, Falconstar pounced. His claws landed squarely onto the bird's wings and his jaws connected with the bird's neck, letting out a satisfying crunch of bones. Hope flared back into the ShadowClan warrior's chest as he tasted the savory notes in the bird's blood. Falconstar dropped his kill back onto the grass and immediately sank his fangs into its feathered flesh. The tabby quickly spat it back out when he remembered that his daughters needed to eat.

 _I need to save this for Shadepaw, Featherpaw and Mosspaw! I need to be sure they grow into strong warriors!_

The thought of his daughter immediately drifted his mind to thoughts of Torrentrunner. Falconstar felt a stab of guilt as he realized he wouldn't have enough food for her too.

 _I have to think of something!_

Frantically, Falconstar covered the blackbird with dirt and rushed away from the buried prey and towards the lake. He padded over the pebbly banks and let the cool water lap at his paw. Small minnows swam over his paws and weaved around his legs. The minnows in the waves spawned an idea.

 _If RiverClan can do it, so can I!_

Falconstar extended his claws and sliced at the minnows and small fishes that dared swim by his forelegs. The silvery scaled fish scattered, but a few lucky claw swipes tore into the scaled skin of a few fish, leaving ribbons of blood in the clear lake water. Triumphantly, the ShadowClan warrior hooks his claws into the freshly killed fish, dragging them towards him and onto the stony banks.

 _I did it! My family will survive!_

Ignoring the unfamiliar flavor on his tongue, Falconstar carried the fish between his jaws back to where he buried the blackbird. The tan tabby unearthed his earlier kill and carried it back to ShadowClan's camp. Falconstar nodded to the hopeful eyes that glittered on every member of the clan that saw him walk through the camp entrance with fresh kill.

Much to his surprise, Torrentrunner is the first cat to greet him.

"I'm worried about Shadepaw. She's the smallest and thinnest of the apprentices." She mewed. Falconstar widened his green gaze and nodded in agreement. He picked up the blackbird and strode over to the apprentices' den, where Featherpaw's and Mosspaw's hungry eyes eagerly watched him duck under the ivy at the den's mouth.

"Wake Shadepaw," Falconstar ordered his kits. Featherpaw scampered off deeper into the den while Mosspaw stared intently at the blackbird her father brought.

"What about the elders?" Mosspaw meowed up at her father. Falconstar tilted his head, confused.

"What about them?" He asked his tortoiseshell pelted daughter back.

"The elders want to eat too," she said with a bright grin, "Treeleaf said blackbird is his favorite! I can't wait to tell him that we have some to share with him!"

Mosspaw's joyous expression quickly faded as Featherpaw rushed close to her sister.

"I can't wake up Shadepaw!" Featherpaw nearly wailed. Falconstar leaped across the den over to where his third daughter lay. Her small, dark tabby form was curled neatly in her moss lined nest. Her normally soft and carefully groomed striped fur looked ragged and rough. Featherpaw loudly meowed in her sister's ears.

"Shadepaw! Shadepaw! Daddy brought us something to eat! We can go share it with Treeleaf like you wanted to!"

Falconstar pushes past his other two kits and puts his muzzle on Shadepaw's pelt. His heart broke and his skin ran cold. Shadepaw's pelt was frigid, ungroomed and unmoving. He prodded his dark furred daughter with his paw, gently after first. He gave her a clawed shove when she doesn't respond to his touch. Featherpaw and Mosspaw frantically yowl at their sister, urging her to wake up, but she never does. Falconstar stared wide eyed at his daughter, who lay as still as a stone in her nest with her skin as cold as a leaf fall breeze. Suddenly, Falconstar is forced aside as Torrentrunner seemingly materialized out of thin air. Stunned, Falconstar lay on his side in the apprentices' den. The tom squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath as his daughters' mother let out a heart wrenching wail at the sight of her daughter's icy, stone-still body. When Falconstar finally found the strength to stand up on his paws, he sat next to Torrentrunner and helped her groom their daughter's pelt one final time before Torrentrunner made the motions to pick up their daughter.

Mosspaw and Featherpaw streak after their mother as she takes Shadepaw by the scruff and drags her body out to the center of camp. The small family sat around Shadepaw's body, hunched over in grief. Torrentrunner sobbed into her dead daughter's pelt, making pitiful sniffling sounds that alerted the rest of ShadowClan's camp. Their clanmates bowed their heads in mourning and leave the family a wide berth, as to not illicit Falconstar's grief filled wrath.

"How could this happen?" Falconstar mewed in disbelief. His body was numb to the feeling of his two remaining daughters huddling closely next to him. Featherpaw spoke, with her muzzled halfway sinking into Falconstar's tan, striped fur.

"Shadepaw always gives half of her share to some of the warriors." The pale gray apprentice said quietly. Mosspaw picked up the thought.

"And she always gave some to the elders." Mosspaw added. Falconstar said nothing back to them. His chest and pelt felt numb, almost cold.

 _I'm a terrible father! I let my daughter starve to death. And soon the rest of ShadowClan will follow her._

Silent and slow, Falconstar broke away from his grieving daughters and "mate." He steped towards the center of camp. Each step closer strengthened his resolve. By the time he reached the heart of ShadowClan's camp, Falconstar made his decision. The remaining warriors, elders, queens and apprentices stared up at him, hopeful and sad. The death of their leader's daughter and fellow apprentice had shaken them, but none of them spoke. Hunger numbed their bodies, but ShadowClan listened to their leader, hoping that he'd lead them away from starvation.

Falconstar quietly relished in all the eyes gazing back at him. But the euphoria of his clan's attention didn't break him away from mourning Shadepaw. He sucked in a breath and steeled his green eyes in front of his clan.

"Let all those old enough to catch their own prey gather to hear me!" Falconstar yowled, his tan striped pelt rippling over his thinned legs and flanks. The clan holds on to every word that comes out of his jaws. "Tonight, when the sun sets, we will take prey rich lands from ThunderClan!"

 **1 separating line goes here 1**

Falconstar opened his eyes to see a dark, brown tabby pelt. Mapleleaf, ShadowClan's medicine cat, was busy applying poultices and cobweb wraps to the various cuts and slashes that littered Falconstar's striped pelt. The ShadowClan leader blinked his leafy green eyes, adjusting to the light that filtered into his den. He could hear Mapleleaf chuckle a bit as he applied a bit of herb paste to Falconstar's torn ear.

"Soon, you'll have as many scars as you do stripes. On the bright side, ThunderClan managed to claw off all your graying tips." Mapleleaf mewed. Falconstar huffed at his cheerfulness.

 _I'm not so old that I have to worry about graying!_

"All of them I've earned from giving my life to ShadowClan." Falconstar mewed back. Mapleleaf put one last cobweb on Falconstar's pelt and turned to face his leader.

"I never assumed any less." Mapleleaf said carefully. Falconstar didn't bother questioning his medicine cat any further. The two padded out of his den slowly, with Falconstar leaning on Mapleleaf's shouldr. Mapleleaf kept close to his leader, who wobbled a bit on his paws.

"Careful," Mapleleaf warned, "you just lost a life. No need for you to wear yourself out in your own camp."

Falconstar was grateful for the brown tabby's support. He gave a thankful nod.

"I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've lost a life in battle. Nor will it be the last time"

Falconstar slowly padded to the center of ShadowClan's camp. All around him, warrior and apprentices sat with cob webs and medicine pastes plastered to their pelts. Falconstar's heart sank at the sight. His daughter, now a warrior and queen named Mosswing, fussed over her mate, Badgerclaw as he settled next to her. Their two kits, Applekit and Emberkit, pestered their father about the battle. The black and white tom indulged his kits, who squeaked at him excitedly. Featherpaw had also become a warrior beside her sister and took on the name Featherstep, in honor of her quiet gait and natural hunting ability. The pale gray flecked she cat carefully sniffed the wounds her apprentice, Shadepaw, a rogue who was taken in renamed after her mentor's late sister. Falconstar and Torrentrunner even had a second litter. His son, Eaglepaw and his other daughter, Thistlepaw had become apprentices just two moons ago. Falconstar couldn't have been more proud of his family.

 _We've suffered heavily again. I lost another life too. But we kept the land we took from ThunderClan moons ago! ShadowClan is strong! We have to be._

The tan tabby tom gazed over the rest of his clan. The elders had volunteered to help Mapleleaf with tending to the wounded. A few of them shuffled in and out of the medicine cat's den with herbs and cobwebs in their jaws. Falconstar was grateful for their help. Then, a black and white blur settled in the corner of Falconstar's eye. He turned his head to see Torrentrunner sitting next to him. Mapleleaf padded away to tend to more wounded cats. Torrentrunner stepped closer to Falconstar. The tabby tom marveled at his "mate," even though her fur was riddled with scars from countless battles and a few gray streaks lined the fur on her forelegs. To Falconstar, Torrentrunner was still the most beautiful cat around the lake.

"We've kept that stretch of territory for a long time now," Torrentrunner started. Her bright amber eyes glittered as they watched over Eaglepaw and Thistlepaw play fighting near the apprentices' den. "Do we really need that extra land and all the battles that come with it?"

Falconstar turned his green gaze towards Torrentrunner's amber, their eyes locked.

"Of course we need it," Falconstar gaped, "We need it to feed ShadowClan. To feed our kits!"

Torrentrunner looked unconvinced. Her lips formed a frown. Falconstar didn't avert his gaze.

"ShadowClan feeds itself just fine on our original territory. We don't get much prey from the extra stretch anymore now that the prey has recovered."

Falconstar felt _hurt_. Torrentrunner was one of his senior warriors as well as his "mate" and mother of all his kits. How could she question his choices like that? Didn't she care about ShadowClan? Didn't she care about _him?_

"How can you say that? We can't be sure we'll always be able to feed our clan. We can't let what happened to Shadepaw happen to Eaglepaw, Thistlepaw or Mosswing's kits!" Falconstar responded, his voice rising. Torrentrunner flinched at the mention of Shadepaw. The two cats never truly healed after their daughter's death. When Torrentrunner straightened back up, her amber eyes blazed.

"She died because of _your_ poor decision making and lack of respect for the Warrior Code." The black tabby hissed. Falconstar was taken aback by her sudden lash. Defiantly, Falconstar flicked his ears back against his head and narrowed his leafy green eyes.

" _My decisions?!_ You're the one who _decided_ to reject my _love_ and you're the one going against the code by going against your leader's word."

Falconstar almost felt guilty as Torrentrunner stood before him, now bearing her fangs, but she said nothing.

Falconstar couldn't help but feel betrayed by the one cat he loved the most. The sting made anger flow in his pelt. His skin felt hot as he let out words from his jaws.

"I love you! Why do you hate me? How could you just defy me like this? I've done more for ShadowClan then you ever have! I even gave you the choice to be my deputy and you go and reject that too. "

He turned away from his "mate" and took a few pawsteps back towards his den. Without turning backwards to see the expression on Torrentrunner's face, he gave her an order.

"If you want to give up a piece of our territory so badly, we'll discuss it with all the senior warriors. Send them to my den."

The tan tabby heard Torrentrunner run off to gather all the senior warriors as he pushed the ivy away from the entrance of his den. He settled into his mossy nest and shredded the edges with his claws.

 _Torrentrunner is going against me. I'm the one keeping the clan alive! What's next? My warriors hating my decisions too? Can't she see that this is the only way ShadowClan can survive the future? ThunderClan and RiverClan could easily try and take some of our territory. I won't let any of my clanmates die from starvation like Shadepaw did._

The rustling ivy at the entrance of his den awoke Falconstar from his thoughts. He stood up and turned towards his senior warriors and Torrentrunner. The black tabby she cat scowled coldly at him. Falconstar simply frowned back at her. Dustleap, a yellow mottled tom, cleared his throat, stepping between Falconstar and his "mate." The three cats sat down apart from each other as the rest of ShadowClan's senior warriors padded in. Stiffly, they took their places beside Torrentrunner and Dustleap. Letting out a breath, Falconstar finally told his warriors about the disagreement between him and Torrentrunner about the land ShadowClan took from ThunderClan.

"Torrentrunner seems to think ThunderClan needs the land and food that comes with it more than we do," Falconstar started, "I think that's mouse brained. We should have this territory in case another period of famine arrives."

A few of Falconstar's warriors nodded in agreement, murmuring a bit alongside their tan tabby leader's rationale. But a dark, blue-gray warrior raised a paw to speak. Concern glittered in her blue eyes. Falconstar tilted his head at her.

"Yes, Cloudpool?" Falconstar meowed. Cloudpool pondered for a heartbeat.

"I agree with Torrentrunner. What if ThunderClan has a famine too? We can't just let them starve, there must be four clans beside the lake."

Falconstar found himself growling at blue-gray she cat, who cowered and shrunk closer to the floor of the den. Falconstar felt hot rage course beneath his fur and his vision began to fade into a blurry red. Anger flowed through his thoughts as he snarled at Cloudpool. The other warriors shrank away, fear lining their faces. None of them dared speak for their clanmate in fear of Falconstar's wrath. Lifting a paw and unsheathing his claws, Falconstar smote Cloudpool! He slashed his warrior's cheek, leaving a bleeding line across her face right above her jaw. Cloudpool shivered and whimpered. Torrentrunner stood in front of her clanmate, standing stoically under the scrutinizing, green gaze of Falconstar. In his red hot rage, Falconstar slashed at Torrentrunner too, but the black tabby she cat ducked and missed his claws. No cat dared speak as Falconstar heaved in angry breaths before them.

"Cloudpool," he called, "are you loyal to ShadowClan?"

Still shaking uncontrollably, Cloudpool squeaked out her response.

"Y-yes, Falconstar. I love ShadowClan with all my heart."

Falconstar pondered his warrior for a moment, then stepped closer to them. Torrentrunner refused to leave her position between him and Cloudpool.

"Then I suggest you take into account what's best for ShadowClan, not ThunderClan. If you're so worried about them, join Spiderstar and his clan of savages who watched us starve. If I hear any of you defying my choices again, I'll make sure you never set paw in ShadowClan ever again."

Snarling the last piece of his threat, Falconstar's warriors filtered out of his den, scrambling to the warriors' den or out into a patrol. Torrentrunner stayed still, resolute. She growled at the father of her kits and clawed at the ground, angry. Then, quick as a snake, Torrentrunner slashed a claw against the top of Falconstar's ear, ripping off a graying tuft of fur from the tip.

"I hate you." Torrentrunner hissed. As quickly as she struck him, the black and white tabby she cat pelted across ShadowClan's camp and out into the territory that faced RiverClan's border.

Falconstar stood over his nest and ripped it to pieces with his claws and teeth, launching bits of moss over the floor of his den.

 _The whole world is against me now. I'm the only one protecting ShadowClan from the cruelty of the world._

 **1 separating line goes here 1**

Falconstar stood up straight and still. The forest floor beneath his paw glittered like ice on a sunny, leaf fall day, only it wasn't sunny and there was no ice to be found. The former ShadowClan leader stood in StarClan's heavenly forest. Stars lined every blade of grass, every mulberry bush and every tree, giving the area a bright, sparkling tone. Beside the handsome tabby, a small, black tabby apprentice padded up to his shoulder. Falconstar recognized the starry apprentice as his daughter, Shadepaw. His heart leapt when she appeared to greet him, but fell when he realized she still sported the disappointed expression from when he first arrived in StarClan. Shadepaw hadn't forgiven him for blaming her mother for her death and for blatantly ignoring the lines Warrior Code meant to care for elders, queens and kits. Falconstar doubted his daughter would ever forgive him, but a small bit of him remained hopeful. After all, she stood directly beside him instead of several tail lengths away. Behind Shadepaw, more StarClan warriors approached. The tan tabby warrior could _feel_ their presence, the warmth of their pelts and their souls resonating within them. The crowd of StarClan warriors thrummed with excited meows and movements, indicating someone was communicating with them through the Moonpool. Falconstar and Shadepaw kept expectant their gazes facing forward. Soon, all the eyes of the present StarClan cats focused on a single spot in the glittering forest. Like mist rising from the surface of the lake, a wispy form of a cat started to appear and take shape. Stars swirled around the developing form, illuminating the cat's pelt and defining bodily features. The warrior's stark white fur patches materialized first and her black tabby pelt formed next. Then, the warrior's bright amber eyes formed out of two stray stars, burning bright with sheer determination. Torrentrunner had arrived in StarClan to receive her nine lives! Falconstar resisted every fiber of his being that urged him to leap forward and embrace his former love. He wanted so desperately to fall before her paws and beg for her forgiveness and to let her know that he still loved her with all his heart. But the tan tabby tom rooted his paws to the sparkling grass by digging his claws into the forest floor. Next to him, Shadepaw ran her tail against his back, a small comfort from his daughter, who refused to forgive him.

The StarClan cats beside and behind the two former ShadowClan cats silenced and stilled themselves as Torrentrunner confidently, yet carefully padded towards the crowd, her face as stoic and serious as ever. She approached Falconstar, who let his green eyes soften when she stood eye level to him. The former ShadowClan leader was amazed he found the words and strength to give his former love one of her nine lives. Tentatively, Falconstar stepped forward and brought his muzzle close to hers, inhaling her familiar scent that he missed so much. He fully expected Torrentrunner to recoil at his touch, but she didn't. Instead, Torrentrunner stood still and firm, though she did not return any affection to him. For a heartbeat, Falconstar inhaled and touched his nose to his former deputy's forehead, parting his jaws to recite the nine lives ceremony.

"Welcome, Torrentrunner," he began, the tom closed his eyes and let his energy flow into the she cat standing before him, "with this life, I give you empathy. They say 'you never know what another's life is like till you walk in their paws.' Use this life to better understand not only your clanmates' lives, but the lives of your brethren in the other clans. After all, there must be four clans beside the lake and every life is sacred."

Falconstar felt Torrentrunner tremble beneath his muzzle just after the fizzling energy of his life left his body and entered hers. The white bellied tom frantically resisted the sudden urge to comfort and surround her from the intense wash of pain, but he didn't move a single muscle. Then, Torrentrunner opened her eyes and stared back at Falconstar. The tabby tom fully expected to see malice in her beautiful amber eyes and tension beneath her sleek, striped pelt. But instead, his leafy green eyes saw understanding and a hint of forgiveness shot his way. Inwardly, Falconstar was grateful the cat he loved the most was able to forgive him for all horrible choices he made in his life. Falconstar had single pawed made Torrentrunner's life in ShadowClan miserable. Now that he no longer lived beside her, Falconstar noticed that her spirit was lighter than it ever had been. She had even smiled a few times, a small blessing he never saw when he was alive. The tan tabby felt his heart twist when he realized he was the one who hurt her more than any claw of an enemy warrior ever could. Before Shadepaw could step forward to give her mother her next life, Falconstar gave his former "mate" a short, tight embrace. Much to his surprise, she returned it and gave his cheek a lick. The two cats locked eyes. Bright amber hit leafy green. Two forces stood together for a few heartbeats. The starry furred tabby felt the tension flowing between them dissolve. Falconstar swallowed hard and quietly spoke.

"I love you. Do you still love me?" Desperation squeaked out in his mew. He knew Torrentrunner wouldn't reveal the same passion he had felt for her all his lives and she likely never would. Despite his expectations, Falconstar felt his heart shatter to a million pieces and fade away when the black tabby she cat delicately parted her jaws; a mixture relief and closure lined the features of her regal face.

"I don't."

 **Debrief time! I wanna go over some things that I (hopefully) was able to convey with this weird, multipart story. While Falconsong/Falconstar is a well-liked warrior, he's not necessarily the most morally sound. He's selfish. He loves attention and approval. He can easily twist the words of others and reinterpret them to his favor and towards the end, he even convinces himself he's a good cat and that the poor decisions he makes are the right ones. He's frequently allowed to have his way a lot during his life because of his reputation and natural good looks and hates when it doesn't go the way he wants it to. To get his way, he keeps trying and giving attempts till he reaches his goal. He's madly in love with Torrentrunner and won't stop pursuing her till she relents and says "yes."**

 **Ok, that's the objective gist of it. Now let's discuss what's actually going on. Falconsong/Falconstar is an obsessive, selfish, prideful creep who loves to control his situation and those in it. It's not ok to keep obsessing over and following someone you have a crush on. It's not ok to keep pressuring them into being with you. It's not ok to manipulate them into staying with you. Falconsong/Falconstar is a creep for doing this and this is partially why Torrentrunner never falls for him. She can see past his handsome looks and silver tongue and see who he really is and she's not attracted to that cat. Also, Falconsong/Falconstar has a blatant disregard for the "feed you clan first" part of the warrior code. He convinces others that it's ok to do this and this is what caused the over hunting problem in ShadowClan. Shadepaw is the first to see this as a problem and goes out of her way to feed her clan at the cost of her own life. Torrentrunner naturally sees through this as well. But by the time she gets the guts to say anything about it, Falconstar is at the point of believing his own lies and delusions and he becomes angry with her for not agreeing with him. That's when the abuse of his clanmates starts and one of the many things Shadepaw doesn't forgive him for when they get to StarClan.**

 **I didn't want this to be a happy ending for Falconstar. That's not how it realistically would work. The story implies that he begins to redeem himself after he dies and goes to StarClan, but that doesn't mean it does a complete turnaround for him and that everything magically becomes ok. Torrentrunner may forgive him, but she'll never love him. That's the end of it. Forgiveness doesn't mean the two protagonists are going to be in love and have a happily ever after. It doesn't change the fact that Falconstar is an obsessive, controlling creep. It doesn't erase any of the negative things Falconstar has done and it certainly doesn't erase any of the aftermath of his choices. Torrentrunner's forgiveness only gives him grounds to become a better cat and to change the negative qualities for the better.**


End file.
